When you hear a person hurling abusive language at another, it is generally a cry for attention by someone who feels in some way inadequate. Sometimes such outbursts are followed with over-the-top aggression. These actions reflect how desperate a person is. Nobody wins in needless negativity and name calling.
Recently there was an incident inside the Parliament in Maldives where one Member of Parliament is alleged to have abused another Member of Parliament and the case is now being fought in the court for defamation of character.
Politicians debate and make laws in the parliament which is an important pillar in a democracy. Politicians also seek to influence us to endorse their policies or turn out to vote for them in elections. The language they use has meaning and affects people who hear them.
The denigration and degeneration of our society in Maldives is at an all time high and we have to take action to reverse this trend.
We are a nation of people who do have values. Freedom of speech doesn't mean we use abusive language and name calling without consequences.
While most of us would fall short of the standards expected from us from time to time, those of us like politicians who are in the public eye and are seen as role models must try to live up to our standing in society.
Insulting an opponent is not going to achieve a victory, rather it appears to be an admission of defeat from the moment it begins.
Our children are not growing up in a perfect world. When we make a mistake, when our politicians make a mistake, we and they need to accept responsibility and offer an apology. Once we start doing that as a nation we can begin to clean our act. That will be a good beginning for our children who can see the adults respecting each other.
We can stop our elected officials from using abusive language and the next time they come around campaigning for election, we have to warn them that we are watching them and will not tolerate any name calling in public.
There are abusive Narcissists in all societies, they have to face their own internal demons and change their behaviour through counselling and treatment. Abusive behavior can also result from mental health issues or disorders like uncontrollable rage, drinking, drugs or impaired brain functioning. Such people will need medical treatment to deal with their problems.
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6 comments:
As I have experienced growing up - name calling - swearing - abusive language related to sexual nature -are seen a smart feature of manhood and the culture in our society.
It is partly due to the fact formal educations and civilizing arriving bit late in the country. Another reason could be that questioning about actions and reactions is something we have to catch up allot yet, I believe.
The voices against such behavior are still very low , my gut feeling is that it is because we are still not sure stopping one bad voice may not lead to complete silencing of us all.
Hi Shahuru
It's been quite a while since we gave up our sarongs and wore the shirt and trouser, same as the western world.
Hasn't there been enough time for us to learn that abusive and vulgar language or derogatory remarks demeaning another person is not acceptable in society? Such language should not be used in public places as it affects other people who hear such outbursts.
If one friend calls another friend a moron and both men don't care about it, that's the end of the story. But we should stop them from using abusive language in public in ways it will affect others or transmitting across airwaves for far reaching audiences.
If some one is a shock jock, like Don Imus in US who uses controversial remarks and if he is allowed to do so by his license and the operator, then he does it. People know what to expect from him. He too has paid a price for going over the top due to public pressure but won a case against CBS who fired him.
We too will have our characters like Imus. But society must decide if it will have certain limits to free speech. That doesn't mean you silence anyone or that you don't have free speech. It means you are held to account when you cross the line and you pay a price.
I have always believed that the society is more important than the individual who is a part of the whole. Individuals who deviate from the norms and values that give the society a civilized face will have to be made to face a deterrant. Unfortunately in our country, the some individuals have become more important than the well being of society as a whole.
I don't quite agree with your writing. Your definition of abusive language is too broad.
I give you an example terms such as "fuck you" "son of bitch" "asshole" are a common terms used by even the most developed and the educated; and also of the western origin.
so my point is sometimes those words can be used as expressions of fun and joy. It can also mean you like the person, not necessarily abusive. However, the situtation defines what it means.
Whats happening at the parliament is because, the low qualifications they posses ofkoz. Koz we all know, education teaches decipline and patience. Thats what our society needs right now. Not blaming if the words exist.
Hi anonymous
Thank you for your opinion. First let us agree to disagree if we have strong feelings about our respective positions.
I have said that if two friends use whatever words they want and they don't care, that is the end of the story.
But if they use abusive language with the intention of hurting and demeaning another person in public that is not acceptable becoz it affects other people as well.
Don Imus of US who has radio programme is a good example. Imus referred to the Rutgers University women's basketball team players as "nappy-headed ho's" while commenting on his radio.
This is derogatory term for the African American community. There was huge outcry in America mainly from the African American community and Imus was forced to apologise to the girls. He had to do it becoz he said it publicly and the girls protested that it hurt them deeply and affected their reputation.
The words you mentioned are used by some hip hop groups and those who follow their culture.
Those are not words that are used in mainstream western media. That is the reason why there was such an outry when Imus uttered them over radio in US.
My point is if a group of people don't mind using those words, then it is up to them. But they don't have the right to hurt or demean other people in public.
If the person who has uttered the hurtful words and the one who says he has been hurt don't agree, I guess they will end up in court to determine who is right and wrong.
POOR PRECEDENT OR THE POOREST?
There is no need for billingsgate,
The rule of law can work sedate:
When Cheney says "Go fuck yourself"
Upon the Senate floor,
´Tis not a tactic worthy pelf
But something to deplore.
If billingsgate can make the calls,
Law is less worth than size of balls.
Not "fuck yourself" as Cheney said,
But reasoned argument
Determine policy--ill-bred
It sets poor precedent.
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